JP29: COMMITMENT OR CONVENIENCE

Some gifts we receive in childhood aren’t fully appreciated until adulthood.  Like the way Ray and Gola served as backup parents for my dad from the late 1940s onward.

My sweet grandmother became a single parent when Dad was two years old and began working a factory job to provide support.  That's when Ray and Gola graciously befriended my grandmother, loved my dad, and treated them like their own family.  Years later, my brother, sister, and I became their grandchildren in love.  

We called them Maw and Paw and they poured love into all of us.  Their marriage made a difference because this everyday couple from rustic farming roots chose to follow Jesus through commitment rather than convenience!

There's was the kind of commitment that Jesus calls for in Matthew's Gospel:

It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Matthew 5:31-32

Marriages based on convenience were far too common back in Jesus' day. According to early Jewish literature, men were appealing to the Old Testament law of Moses (Deut 24:1-4) to support divorcing their wives for matters as trivial as burning dinner.  

Commit To Jesus' Design For Marriage

To this practice Jesus issues a strong rebuttal, “But I tell you…”.  and clarifies that he has authority to break long-standing traditions and reestablish God's best regarding the marriage relationship.

In doing so, Jesus commands that a man may divorce his wife only in the case of sexual immorality.  Jesus' restriction in this text is limited to men because women did not have the legal right to divorce their husbands in ancient Israel's patriarchal system.

Commit To Mutual Love And Respect

Jesus' command limiting divorce in this way shows the value that he places on women in general and especially those made vulnerable by callous abandonment.  He elevated the status of women in ancient society and renewed the value of marriages staying together.

Jesus is not specifically addressing instances where there is physical, verbal, and emotional abuse in the marriage.  But, this fact should not be interpreted to mean that he approves of subjecting ourselves to ongoing abuses in any relationship.  

Allow Jesus To Mend Past Hurts

If divorce is part of your past, no words can adequately speak to your pain and disappointment.  Jesus will meet you in your hurt and bring healing in a way that only he can.  The power of the cross and resurrected Christ can heal the deepest pain and help you move forward again.

Let Jesus remind us today to avoid taking scripture out of context to support a trivial excuse for divorce or any action that is not in God's will.   Marriage is hard work and requires selfless dying to ourselves each day.  Removing divorce of convenience as an option helps us work through the greatest disappointments and the most hurtful betrayals with God-glorifying faith.

Choose Commitment Over Convenience

Ray chose commitment over convenience, loved his wife, and passed down a legacy of love and faithfulness.  It's the kind of legacy that Jesus desires for every marriage and relationship.  

PRAYER:
Dear Lord, thank you for the people you’ve sent to stand in the gap for me.  Help me to choose commitment over convenience in all aspects of life with the wisdom that you promise to provide.  May you bless and strengthen marriages and families and those who’ve gone through the pain of divorce.  Remind me today that all things will be made new when I commit my way to you. Amen.

Commitment Or Convenience: Passing On A Legacy Of Love

1. Commit To Jesus' Design For Marriage

‍
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’  and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:3-6

2. Commit To Mutual Love And Respect

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”  This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:25-33

3. Allow Jesus To Mend Past Hurts

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

4. Choose Commitment Over Convenience

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:31-33

Photo by Marlon Josué on Unsplash